23

Today I was totally overwhelmed. Of course, everytime I see an Army guy in uniform I think of Deano. Fine, no big deal... whatever. Sometimes I even talk to them about being in the army and what it's like. More than once, I've said "Yeah, my uncle is in the army". Is. Not was. And it feels weird everytime I say it. I don't want to make them uncomfortable... but I want to say, "He died." Why? Anyways, today there were three Army guys in my section and they were all around Deano's age. I have NO idea where this came from, (maybe God) but I really wanted to tell them how much their job means to me. I wanted to tell them thank you for all they sacrifice for me and my family. And right there, in the middle of the lunch rush, my eyes started tearing up. I just wanted to burst out into tears and run home. I wanted to tell them, "My uncle was in the Army. He was in MediFlight. He loved his job SO much. He died." WHY? Somedays I have such a hard time with it. Still. And it's been over a year. Those guys were so cool and they chatted it up with me just like Deano would have with some random waitress. They reminded me so much of him.

God,
Please just keep Your hands on me and my family. It's still so hard with Deano gone. God, I just pray that you'll ease the pain for me and my mom and dad and Denise and the kids everyday God.
Amen.