I've had very few baby dreams so far during this pregnancy. Last night was a weird one.

I went into labor, which I vaguely remember, and the next thing I knew I was at home with baby Cooper. I asked Philip why I didn't remember labor and he said it was because there were complications and they had to drug me up. I was so disappointed I missed the birth of our son! Philip told me I had a vaginal delivery. I asked him if I had to have an epi, and he told me yes and the use of forceps were needed. I was bummed I had an epi. While we were home, I don't ever remember seeing Cooper's face. I put him in his swing to sleep for a while. My mom and Philip were home with me. All the sudden Cooper JUMPED out of the swing and was running around the house like a dog. In fact, he looked like Daisy, but I knew it was Cooper. I tried picking him up to calm him down but he kept squirming away from me. I started to get really upset because he was NOT what I expected him to be. I put him in his crib and he crawled right out and was roaming around the house.

It was really disappointing to me that he wasn't what I expected. WEIRD! I wonder what it could all mean...

Today I joined Wealthy Affiliates. I first stumbled upon it two days ago. I was searching for other work at home jobs when I saw an ad talking about "making money typing ads". I know NOTHING about internet marketing and I never really even thought about it being a job. I did a LOT of reading and research on the company before signing up with them. I have a vague idea of what to expect from the company and what I'll be doing. I was a little hesitant of WA before signing up because there is a monthly $40 fee. I've ALWAYS said you should never have to pay money to make money. I've now realized, you should never pay money for a JOB. Paying money to start a business is different. With this in mind, I signed up today. I'm so far impressed with the resources available to me. I'm going to begin the 8-week Action Plan today. I told Philip I would see how I do for the first 8 weeks and then decide if I want to continue :-) Wish me luck!

25

I am so frustrated with people. WHY do people rationalize abortion as a "choice"? And how is this act of murder, legal?! It's shocking to me how stupid people can be. I visited a web site, imnotsorry.net It's full of women telling their abortion stories and how they're not sorry they had their abortions. THEY'RE GLAD THEY KILLED THEIR OWN CHILDREN!! What!? They're all the same.... "I was young and stupid. I wasn't ready for a child. I didn't WANT a child. I didn't have the money for a child." Interesting how all these sentences begin with the word "I". These people are ridiculously selfish. It's shocking to me just how selfish. Some of these women were even married, but just didn't feel like they wanted a child right then. ???!!!!

I've learned a lot about abortions and how they're performed. It literally makes me want to throw up. My stomach was turning in knots while I was reading it. These doctors and nurses are so deceiving about what's actually happening during the procedure. I'm sure that if some of these women were better educated about abortion they wouldn't be so quick to think of it as their "only option".

I don't know why God has instilled such a passion in me for this subject. There are a lot of evil things going on in this world, but I have a strong desire to get the word out about abortion and enlighten people as I have been enlightened.

I don't know who reads this blog, if anyone, but I really encourage you to visit this site: www.abort73.com AND www.imnotsorry.net and form your own opinion about abortion.

God,
I just want to pray for any women out there considering abortion. I pray you will open their eyes to the decision their about to make and how wrong and destructive it is. God, I pray you will keep your hands on the women who are suffering after an abortion. God show them Your love and forgiveness. I want to pray for the success of abort73.com and all the people involved in it. I pray You will use me in Your will for this topic God and getting the word out.

Amen.

23

Today I was totally overwhelmed. Of course, everytime I see an Army guy in uniform I think of Deano. Fine, no big deal... whatever. Sometimes I even talk to them about being in the army and what it's like. More than once, I've said "Yeah, my uncle is in the army". Is. Not was. And it feels weird everytime I say it. I don't want to make them uncomfortable... but I want to say, "He died." Why? Anyways, today there were three Army guys in my section and they were all around Deano's age. I have NO idea where this came from, (maybe God) but I really wanted to tell them how much their job means to me. I wanted to tell them thank you for all they sacrifice for me and my family. And right there, in the middle of the lunch rush, my eyes started tearing up. I just wanted to burst out into tears and run home. I wanted to tell them, "My uncle was in the Army. He was in MediFlight. He loved his job SO much. He died." WHY? Somedays I have such a hard time with it. Still. And it's been over a year. Those guys were so cool and they chatted it up with me just like Deano would have with some random waitress. They reminded me so much of him.

God,
Please just keep Your hands on me and my family. It's still so hard with Deano gone. God, I just pray that you'll ease the pain for me and my mom and dad and Denise and the kids everyday God.
Amen.

24

Yesterday was crazy! We got up at 4am to be at Ultimate Electronics at 5am. We went there, Circuit City, Target, the mall, Best Buy.... we stopped a couple of time in there to eat left overs and refuel on Starbucks. :-) Philip and I also found a great deal on a LCD TV, so we bought it! It's a 46" Sharp 1080p LCD (flat screen). That's right, I know what all that means. I'm excited about it!

In other exciting news, we leave for the cruise tomorrow morning!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to TRY and post a blog and some pictures and maybe even video while we're there :-) I'm EXCIIIIITTTEEDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!